all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
