obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
