So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
