So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
