I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
