That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
