Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
