you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
