I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
