The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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