Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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