If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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