Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
