I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
