i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
