all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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