when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
why is half of my head shaved?
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