Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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