Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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