grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
