NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
