So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
