So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
