a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
