Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
