its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Boobs speak an international language.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
