i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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