Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
