Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
