oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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