Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Randomize