Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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