STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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