I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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