I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
