My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
You did what with his pubic hair?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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