i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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