U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
