There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize