Umm I'm too high to move.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
