At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
