Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
