Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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