I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
