what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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