Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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