It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
