dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We have started to decorate penises.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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