is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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