the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
only you would photoshop your dick
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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