Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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