well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
