Dual....:-)
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I supernannyed him into submission
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
