angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
