take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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