you would pick up someone in the library
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I think a kid would responsible me up
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
