No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
