I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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