i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
