I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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