THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
