Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
