why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
