i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
