I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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