it's too hot outside to masturbate.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
