$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
